I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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