you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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