Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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