As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
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cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
They are going to name an STD after you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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