So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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