Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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