She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize