I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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