I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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