fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize