So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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