i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Found your dick twin last night
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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