I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
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my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I love you. Go after that dick
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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