This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
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How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize