Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He passed out mid-signature
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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