A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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