im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize