you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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