I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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