I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize