i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
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She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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