You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
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There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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