My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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