this beer tastes like vomit already
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize