He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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