i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
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this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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