new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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