This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize