ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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