she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Drunk is not a location!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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