the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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