Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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