Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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