dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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