He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i need some magic done to my vagina
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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