god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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