Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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