Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
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If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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