Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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