why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
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Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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