have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I need to calm my uterus...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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