they need to just BURY HIM!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
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Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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