I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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