last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I wish you could order shots online.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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