Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
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That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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