I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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