Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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