Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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