Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
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i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
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At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize