it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
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CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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